How Do You Say, “Thank You?”
by Joann Keder

Do you like to be thanked publicly, with a grand display of affection or do you prefer a simple hug? Is a formal, written thank you necessary in this age of instant messaging and fast-paced living, or are a few words of encouragement enough?

For all of the questionable research we have paid for, there doesn’t seem to be a poll or scientific study on thank yous. Without grant funding or piles of data, I decided to conduct my own informal research. (Mykl – link to read full article)

Just for the sake of full disclosure, I want to mention that I polled a few people in my email address book as well as comers and goers in a privately owned coffee shop.

Here is what I found: The majority of pre-caffeinated respondents initially said they were happy with a verbal thank you. It seemed no one wanted to demand more than a cursory acknowledgement, no matter what act of kindness they initiated. The interesting response to this question came later in the conversation. After a few moments spent sipping a latte, mocha or decaf, ninety percent of those polled admitted that they actually prefer a thank you note, sent snail mail style. The other ten percent stuck with their original verbal thanks.

The email responses were a mixed bag; about half preferring a verbal thank you while the rest replied that they wouldn’t mind an email. One person did not express a desire for written or verbal thanks, but said she instead prefers her thank yous “in small bills.” Hmmmm. The hug, an underappreciated display of warmth and affection, was left out in the cold. (As a side note: All of those polled were approached during warm, post-summer weather. Responses could differ greatly during cold winter months. The under- twenty crowd, who spend most of their days conversing electronically, were not approached for this unscientific survey. Although small bills would probably work for them as well.)

We all like to hear we’re appreciated. But it sounds like the majority of us, when pressed on the issue, still prefer the old-fashioned, fold-in-the-middle, thank you card delivered to our mailbox. It takes a little more time but is obviously worthwhile. And what better way to thank your friends than to give them the opportunity to receive something in the mail that isn’t stamped “open immediately” or “past due?”